I was talking to my aunt on the phone about a family vacation in Istanbul this summer that I am on the fence about attending. I am from a middle eastern Muslim family; however, I am atheist and I am not afraid to be myself and dress how I want. Well she was telling me that I can’t dress the way that I want (despite it being okay in Istanbul- I’ve been before) because my aunt’s husband will be there and my aunts and cousins wear a hijab. Well I told her I will dress how I feel comfortable if I go. She told me not to wear shorts because they make me look fat. Now I had a baby almost 2 years ago. I’m needing to lose about 15 lbs to be pre-pregnancy weight but I’m not big or unhealthy. She then told me that I can look like a whale if I want to.

Now my question is why do women, especially family, like to kill other women’s confidence? I know I need work (my own desire) but I’m happy with my body right now. Why did she feel the need to put me down.