Holy hell, does being a woman just SUCK sometimes. Just came to vent about my frustrations about periods.

Been on birth control for severe periods for 15 years now. I’m turning 31 next month, have never wanted kids (I really just don’t like kids, but I also don’t want to pass on my genetics-family wise and health wise) and circumstances in my life led me to choosing a tubal.

(Also don’t come at me for MY choice in not having kids. My own suffering has informed my decision, I’ll leave it at that.)

I recently found out I have a higher than normal risk for blood clots and I have tried literally every form of hormonal birth control over the last 15 years to control my crazy period symptoms (15 days, super heavy to the point I’d pass out, awful cramps) and finally the last method has stopped working. That, coupled with hormonal birth control raising the risk of clotting even further, we decided to do a bilateral salpingectomy and endometrial ablation and be done with periods/worrying about kids. Going on short term disability for 2 weeks for this.

When we discussed the surgery initially, my doc never mentioned the standard biopsy of my uterus that would have to be done (to make sure no cancer is present before the ablation).

Today I showed up to my pre op today to get my Nexplanon removed from my arm. But first they told me they had to do the biopsy. It hurt so bad I was sobbing and legitimately begging my doctor to stop. She stopped, and gently told me I had 2 options: hope she got enough cells and if not, they’d cancel the ablation day of surgery (effectively leaving me with awful periods, but sterilized), or do it again. We did it again. Sobbed some more. Then took out the Nexplanon.

I’m still shaking/feel nauseous. I thought I was going to pass out or puke all over the nice nurse. It is just insane the lengths women have to go to sometimes. I just don’t want kids, and don’t want debilitating periods, and I have to walk through hell to get there (on top of existing chronic illness).

My procedure is Nov 15th and I’m just anxious af of how ill feel physically after. Though I don’t think it could possibly be worse than having a probe jammed through your cervix and into your uterus stone cold sober. Longest 30 seconds of my fucking life.

I hope this surgery works and the pain ends. End rant.