My (39f) boyfriend (45m) told me that many years ago he was at a bar and a man came up to him and told him his friend thought he was cute and offered sex, money, and drugs. He said it still freaks him out. I just kind of stared at him for awhile with my face crumpled up. I told him I was sorry that happened to him, it is scary and uncomfortable for sure. Then I explained that in my teens and 20s, this happened so often that I couldn’t even begin to count. That I’ve had men follow me, grab my body, call me names if I turned them down, etc.

It’s definitely not as common as I get older, thankfully. I did have a man follow me down the street asking my name, number, where I live, do I have a man about 2 weeks ago. I walked into traffic to get away from him then called my bf and told him I needed to be on the phone because I felt unsafe. He thought I was overreacting. But like, the above situation happened to him one time and he still holds on to it 20 years later.

But sure, I’m overreacting.

Edit: the stranger danger on the street happened about a week or two before the above conversation. When we had the discussion, he did take a moment to reflect and say “I like to think I was never like that. But now I understand why women cross the street when they see men.”

So I think maybe it landed. I’m hoping for the best. I think that talking and finding parallels might help him understand.

Also, he isn’t homophobic. As women, we frequently experience men interrupting our space to proposition us. We hate it. And the dude was very strongly propositioning him. He’s allowed to feel disrespected/harassed. I can’t minimize his experience because it wasn’t worse.