The other night I (24F) went to my first strip club. My boyfriend of 3 years always wanted to take me, but when I told him that my coworkers were planning on going while we were on a work trip, he jumped at the opportunity to “pop the cherry” so to speak and took me to one as a surprise.

I would consider myself very open-minded sexually and non-judgemental. My boyfriend and I participate in some kink, frequent a swinger’s club, and have other couples we’re friends with and sometimes play together (including me playing with the women in the couples.)

My experience there was interesting. Not sure if I would call it “fun”, we basically just drank all night and watched as different dancers took the stage next to us. My boyfriend asked me if anyone caught my eye, and one dancer did, so we waited until she made her way over and my boyfriend bought me a private dance, and all three of us (me, boyfriend and dancer) took part in it.

I guess I am just feeling a little inadequate, being surrounded by naked ladies that I would never have a chance to even coming close to looking like them. And I suppose it made me happy to see my boyfriend happy, tipping the dancers he liked and enjoying himself. When we got home we had really fantastic sex and I’ll admit being at the club turned me on. But there’s still a strange, sad feeling deep inside. Jealousy, insecurity, inadequacy, and disdain that establishments like this exist.

I guess I am just starting to process my feelings about the experience. Just wanted to vent and see if there’s anyone else out there with similar experiences or advice to share.