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Another casualty of the Barbie movie
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There was this guy I met at a work event. He's handsome, intelligent, witty and seemed so respectful that I ignored some personal rules about age difference and stuff and went on a date with him. That date was perfect and it's a long story but I let my guard down and started to really like him.

I primarily date women and there was a massive age difference so this thing I had for him was out of sorts. But he was so respectful and understanding. There was no pressure other than wanting to get to know him more because he was so fascinating. I hate to admit this but I was super smitten.

Last night he asked me to a movie and we decided to see Barbie. It was my second time seeing the movie and his first. The movie was great and everything seemed great after. When I asked, he even said he enjoyed it.

We went back to his place and had sex. He seemed a little bit distant during but I thought I was just overthinking.

After I was in that great post sex with a guy I actually like happy place when he said, "I hate how that movie ignored the problems that men have."

That was not the pillow talk I expected so I thought I misheard him so I asked him to explain more. And I got the exact response that so many of you have gotten. The film was sexist, totally focused on women, only about empowering women, made men look foolish and ignored all the problems that men have.

I was shocked and tried to defend it by saying that it's a movie about dolls and there were so many allusions to how girls play with dolls. He told me that I was changing the subject. So I said that I don't understand how every movie has to be totally inclusive, like when I saw Dunkirk I didn't feel slighted that it didn't talk about how hard life was for English women back home then. And that just made him extremely angry.

So I got shouted at and called some really bad things because of a movie about toys I used to play with. My hurt at what happened is dampened by feeling really glad I got to see how ugly his temper is before I started to like him more. I feel ashamed he brought it up after sex like he either lied about liking it after to get sex OR he got angry at me and the movie while we were having sex. And I am also really sad at how effed up our world is that a movie about dolls would lead to a guy screaming at me and calling me names.

And of course I have to doubt myself more because I am so surprised that he reacted like that to that movie. He seemed different, more educated, accepting and respectful. Misreading him that badly has me questioning my judgment. And knowing I can make someone that angry just talking about a movie makes me feel overly analytical and rude.

TL;DR - Saw Barbie movie with guy I liked. Got yelled at and called names for not acknowledging how feminism destroys and belittles men. Feeling doubt, self loathing and very unlikable.

Edit - To add, I am finished with him and he is currently blocked.

Edit2 - Thanks for the support everyone. I was originally going to tell him I'm not seeing him again in person but just wrote it and blocked him again. I'm not seeing him again at all.

Edit 3 - Also there are some good comments about how I said it's just a movie about dolls. I didn't mean to downplay it. That was actually a compliment. When I played with Barbies, the hottest Ken I had at any time got to go on dates with my prettiest Barbies. Sometimes they went on double dates. But if they weren't accessories, they were either background figures or I didn't play with them at all. Kens didn't have as many cool clothes and even if they had hair you couldn't really comb it, braid it or do anything with it. Kens were just underwhelming toys compared to Barbies. I found a lot of the movie extremely nostalgic because that's just how I played with Barbies. I know, I felt nostalgic watching a movie about toys I played with, I'm such a bitch hey?

Edit 4 - I'm sorry for not making this clear. But he was way older, which should have been enough of a red flag not to get into that situation in the first place. I am not ignoring my gut or taking advice from people who really don't care again.

Edit 5 - I guess I got reported because I got the Reddit Cares message. I'm going to try really hard to take that as being support and not an attack.

Final update - I wouldn't have posted if I knew this would blow up and that I would get so much misogyny when it did. To all who listened and gave me support, thank you.

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1 year ago