I'm so sorry if this is the wrong subreddit for this question. I just really struggle with masturbation. I've slowed down a lot in the last two years, typically about once a month but sometimes it's more or less.

Recently though, I feel like I'm in a cycle: I'll masturbate, go on to do it for 3-5 days in a row, get upset at myself/feel guilty for doing it too much, then go back to not doing it at all. Then, when about a month has passed, I'll do it again but cry and feel awful afterwards.

Idk, this might be too complicated of a question or I'm probably not phrasing it right. I just feel like I go through these crazy highs and lows with masturbation. Is this normal? Is multiple days in a row too much? Is it bad that I watch porn? Why do I cry so much afterwards?

edit: Thanks everyone for being so nice. Sorry I didn’t reply to everyone. I’m still at a loss but I appreciate everyone being so kind to me.