Just want to vent.

I want to hookup with people from Tinder, but I feel like there are always so many expectations and pressures about what you have to do when you do hookup.

Just because we are hooking up doesn't mean I want to come straight to your house and hop straight into bed! I still want to meet somewhere safe before, see that you look and act like online, build tensions, then go over.

The biggest thing that's bothering me too are the position/act expectations.

Guy: "So, what are you looking for on Tinder?"

Me: "I'd like to see if we have chemistry and then I am interested in having sex if things seem good between us. Not looking for a relationship, but open to the potential of it to be ongoing."

Guy: "Great 😈 You can show me how good of a girl you are on your knees."

I don't like that the default settings and expectations for hookups are this: Make out, girl is on knees and gives blowjob, girl maybe gets oral back, girl gives handjob, girl rides guy, missionary, now doggy, maybe anal.

Like, I personally don't want to go through an entire 45 minute pre-planned sequence. It just feels like those pornos where they need a shot of every position. I want to do whatever feels natural in the moment! Don't decide I'm already going to be on my knees giving you a blowjob just because I said I want to come over. Let me give you one if it feels natural. It makes me not want to come over because now it feels like an expectation.

My big gripe is honestly this one because I haven't wanted or enjoyed the idea of doing this lately but it's like, a GIVEN that girls have to give a blowjob at a hookup. Maybe I don't want to do a blowjob specifically during our hookup???

I'm also not kinky and I don't want kinky sex, but it feels like that's the only kind of sex you can get from something casual. Why can't hookups have normal sex? What's wrong with 2 positions instead of 4? Etc.

I do tell guys this stuff clearly and I always caveat it with, "I just don't want you to expect it, because I wouldn't want you to feel disappointed if it didn't happen," but they're always like, "I'll make you behave bad girl 😈"

This has killed so many times I was about to meet with someone. I just want to have normal, fun sex with someone online without so many expectations! End rant.