Just feel sad and don't really want to keep fighting anymore.

Never wanted to fight at all but the lack of awareness is tiring and every day is like a battle.

Women who are entrenched are no better than their male counterparts.

Tired of going through life pretending. My life motto was always to be my true self. But I can't even get super basic truths expressed.

I'm just so sad and tired. I just want to be centered in wellness and we have companies busy trying to exploit health and doctors lying and administrators who are not interested or only interested in making it worse and men telling me that I need to lower standards because I'm unrealistic for wanting to be healthy and insulting me for it and sure it's not every man every doctor every administrator but I'm so tired and it doesn't need to be all of then because just one of these over a long period of time is exhausting.

And especially with doctors. You only need one shitty doctor to make a mistake and end up with lifelong chronic issues. So the fact that hospitals found out incompetent doctors actually make MORE money due to poorer practices causing repeat patients doesn't actually help reduce shitty doctors.

But also i just want to not be here anymore. I don't want to die, I want to be in a society that is focused on wellness. Not on addiction and chronic disease and violence and ignorance and poisoning citizens. Which is every country to different degrees.

I think I'm having an endless meltdown.