Hello. I am not sure how to go about the topic. I am looking for clarity because I feel a bit sad.

So I was a fairly frightened kid because my parents were abusive and I spent a lot of time terrified I was going to blow my cover because I thought everybody was abused but that everybody was better at laughing about abuse and pretending it didn't exist and I basically went all the way into my 20s with some terrible philosophies which prevented true intimate connection. In some ways of course this is terrible but in another way I never realized how bad people truly were. Men for one reason and women for another. Which leads to my current issue.

I am encountering a particular kind of cattiness that I usually avoid like the plague. I usually live in a small city and I am part of this online female chapter in that city. It is part of an international group. I have lived in over a dozen cities and usually I am happy to make friends on there and don't usually have issues.

In this particular chapter, however, I feel like I keep running into this particularly horrible issue of what Hollywood would call cattiness. Here is the most recent example. For reference, we are all adults way past university years. Like careers for 10 years, some married with children, etc.

Anyways what happened was I had wished a good friend (lets call her A) happy new year during the holidays. Then I found out we had a mutual friend B that I hadn't contacted in awhile, so after my call with good friend A, I texted mutual friend B happy new year and asked how she was. She didn't respond and I forgot about it.

Today, she texted asking if she could call. She's a total workaholic so I asked if she was okay and she said yes she needed to talk to me. I said sure whenever you're free. This woman called me at 10am in the morning on a workday, so I was like, omg are you okay, and she got upset and said why do you ask if I'm ok it's so annoying. Like ok excuse me usually you are a workaholic and even work Saturdays for fun so the fact you're taking time out to call me indicates an emergency or something. But no. Instead she yells at me saying I should have known we were no longer friends because she unfriended me on Facebook two months ago when a DIFFERENT friend had bailed on my Thanksgiving party after promising to come and taking this girl with her (just found that out today I thought friend B had decided she was too tired to come because she was working). Then she was like never contact me again. But I just checked our old texts and the last one she sent she was telling me to have a great weekend and we would reconnect soon about a month ago.

So....the thing is. I don't usually have these kinds of interactions. But I have had SO MANY in this particular group in 2022. Like 80% of my interactions are like this. But it's one of the only support groups in the city for women. And I have never had this situation in other chapters before and I have been in and out of these groups for 5 years.

Is there something I am missing? I have to stay in the city for a few more months and I'm lonely but also I feel really isolated because in this group I feel like people are more.on my wavelength but when I meet the girls i can't even talk about any of this stuff.

I thought at first maybe this is because most of these women are stay at home moms with really good relationships or something because who has time to be accusing others of not checking fb friend status. Or just...I mean I have so many bizarre stories. What is going on?

Thank you in advance