So for starters I’m currently going through a really bad break up and my self esteem has been at such a really bad low. My ex was honestly my best friend and he really helped me after a very traumatic thing happened to me & pathetically he helped me find my sense of identity so with this break up it’s been really hard for me. (So that’s explaining my head space.)

My boss (M19) has always been so nice to me and if I couldn’t do a shift because of my mental health he would let me take the day off no questions and he would also give me good advice regarding my situation with my ex and he would sometimes give me ride home from work since I can’t drive. He never gave me a creepy vibe so I trusted him. Once he heard about my break up he invited me out to hang out with him outside of work, because he can tell it’s taking a toll on me and I agreed. The dinner portion of the date was fine, but when it was time to drive me back he took us on this detour and parked us at a lookout point the engine was off and the car was parked and I was nervous so I kept trying to hold small talk with him and he slowly stopped responding to me. I remember us sitting in silence and he asked if we could cuddle in the back seat and I told him I don’t know my stomach kinda hurts and idk if I want to move, but he talked me into and told me we were just going to cuddle. So I agreed once we were back there it was okay and he started like rubbing my back and my face was kinda down so I remember him grabbing my face and we started to kiss and it was moving so fast he put his hand way up my skirt and I felt like I couldn’t catch my breath he just like kept kissing me. Next thing I know he’s telling me to lay down, my underwear is in his hand and he’s undoing his pants. So we ended up hooking up.

I deeply regret it now, I honestly didn’t even want too but I felt obligated too because , I was nervous he was gonna just leave me where we were or like drag me out his car since I’m 5;2 and he’s 6;4. So I just went along with it and wasn’t even like romantic or anything. He was a bit rough and I had panic attack during it because of my own previous trauma. I didn’t expect him to know though because he most likely mistaken my hyperventilating and shaking as like something sexual. But afterwards there was like no after care or anything. He just kissed me on the forehead and hopped in the front-seat a speed drive me home because of my curfew. I begged him to please not tell anyone about this and he told me he would kept it between us. That was a lie. Because my ex somehow did find out about it, he basically called me heartless that I went on a date 3 days after we broke up and let my manager screw me on the first date when it took my ex 3 months to allow him to hug me. He’s right and I do feel awful about it, I wouldn’t have never went on the date if I knew it would have ended like this.

Now With my job I honestly want to quit , I don’t want to because it’s honestly highest paying job for people my age , everywhere else is literally minimum wage. But considering this guy is usually my shift runner I kinda hate working with him now , he can’t fire me directly but he can easily tell our store manager that I’m not pulling my weight and fire me like that. But also some people at work are already aware that we hooked up and are watching me and him like a hawk to catch us doing something at work or in this case if he shows me favoritism. Which isn’t happening I had shift with him this past Friday and Saturday and he was so mean and hard on me during the dinner rush I needed to go to the bathroom and cry and pull myself together ,because of how stupid he made me feel . So. I guess I’m wondering can this affect me if I just quit with no reasoning or what would happen if I went to HR ? I don’t want him fired but i feel like if I let them know could they schedule me shifts that I wouldn’t work with him? Also I don’t work at no where fancy it’s literally a fast food chain.