comes with an update, still not sure how to work reddit.

hi everyone i apologize for the long post. i (22f) have been with my husband (24m) for 3 years, married for 2. we have two beautiful babies (2f & 1m). some background, we are both ex military and trying to find a new life balance. i took a job doing school photography, and i enjoy it for the most part but it does require a lot of traveling. my husband has had a few jobs but it doesn’t ever work out because i make more and there is no one to watch our babies during the day so it was decided that ill work for the time being and he’ll stay home and watch the babies. flash forward to today… i was out of town for work at a school with 4 other photographers (it was a massive school k-12th) our start time was at 7:30am and by the time 9am hit the gym was PACKED with kids. one of the photographers really pissed off a kid and what was said back and forth is still unclear but i did hear the kid say “don’t make me put a cap in yo ass” and that’s when everything went wild! the cops were called, school was placed on lock down and the kid was escorted out in cuffs. the photographer was sent home for safety reasons leaving 3 of us to take care of an army of kids. around 12 my husband calls me to do him a favor and i said i couldn’t as i was so busy. he then calls me an asshole and i explain that we had a threat earlier in the day and now im having to make up time and extremely busy. he went on to complain about how the kids were being difficult by not sleeping, throwing his pouches away, crying and even shitting on the carpet.i understand that the kids can be difficult but it’s not like i was not wanting to help him just because. i felt myself getting really mad and to avoid saying something i don’t mean i just said “im done talking now” and didn’t respond to him after. is he being insensitive or am i an asshole?

Edit: I’m not really sure how to edit but i wanna give context as to what the favor was. he was calling to ask if i could call the walmart by our house (i had the number on the online grocery order) and tell them he was outside ready to pick up the grocery order. my grandmother visits with them when i have to be out of town and she was there today as well. she’s in her 60s im not sure why he needed me to do that he could’ve just used google and looked up the number. or he could’ve asked her to call or asked her to pick the groceries up.

update: i’m really bad with starting things so im just gonna get right to everything that has happened since this morning. also thanks everyone for your advice.

First all of the stuff you might not care about…all of the photographs are A-OK. we ended up doing about 480 kids each give or take. so i’m beat. the kid who made the threat was an 11th grader and it was later confirmed he had a firearm in his car. from my coworkers pov she had asked him to remove his mask for a picture and he refused- we are told not hats and no masks in ID pictures but you can order the one with the hat or mask on- so she turned him away. he later came back and did the same thing, this time she offered to take two pictures one with and one without. he got mad and she got mad and the rest is history.

i did eventually talk to my husband but he was wanting an apology for not helping him when he was in need. i told him that i understand that he was overwhelmed but in fact did not need me to do him a favor. especially one that he is fully capable of doing himself as a grown adult. i asked what was really going on. he broke down! said he had missed me (i’ve been gone since sunday night and gone till thursday evening) and has been under a lot of stress with the kids, the house, my grandma, the chores and me being gone was kind of a breaking point. he admitted to wanting attention and went on to apologize. he said he was worried about me and what had happened and thanked me for not blowing up as that would’ve made things worse.

i love my husband very much. i don’t think this is divorce worthy. shit happens… literally. (thanks for that comment, had me cackling)we’ve had our share of fights and arguments but ultimately talk through things. we’ve been in couples counseling ever since we started talking about marriage and no doubt this will probably be brought up in this weeks session. i understand this job can be very hard for everyone. i miss my babies and my husband a lot.

the job thing-he’s had jobs that pay 15-20 hr and i stayed home. it just wasn’t realistic for a family of 4. with my job i make a whole lot more and can support us without living paycheck to paycheck. plus i travel on the companies dime and the rest goes to my family.

Pouches- I stand corrected, they were his drink pouches. the liquid iv ones, not nicotine pouches. i assumed when i shouldn’t have. my bad.