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AITA for not talking to my sister in law
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5ish years ago me (26F) and her (26F) were very close friends. When I started dating my now husband, letā€™s call him Jared (26M), she told me she was now dating a guy with the same name and he was the ā€œbetter Jaredā€. She then got cheated on and next dated my male roommate. She broke up with him then started talking to Jaredā€™s brother and ended up ghosting him. Then years later after I moved away she came to visit me and met Jaredā€™s brother for the first time and they hooked up. 6 months into dating they were living together and started being very annoying towards me. They had went on a trip to Virginia with her family including her grandma after her boyfriend (Jaredā€™s brother, 24M) tested positive for COVID and she ended up calling me while I was driving in the car with my mom to tell me about ā€œthe cutest photo they took at some festivalā€ where my mom proceeded to say that was dumb if he has covid, note I didnā€™t say anything and the call was over my car speaker. She then said she had to go and hung up. Days later Jared heard from his brother at work that she wasnā€™t coming over or talking to me for a long time, she had been annoying me lately so I was sort of glad. Since this incident 1.5 years ago we have barely spoke and do not communicate. Another point to my moms comment over the phone is she came over for a Motherā€™s Day celebration at my house when she was sick, sat right next to my elderly grandpa, and he got sent to the hospital 2 weeks later and ended up passing away. At my wedding, she didnā€™t say a word to me, not even congratulations, so I did the same to her. Thereā€™s so much more to this than what Iā€™m adding but basically she only likes half of Jaredā€™s family and even the half she likes has started seeing through her being fake. She has tried to talk bad about me to them to create drama that has never existed with the half she does get along with and has stopped coming around the other half all together.

Unfortunately she is now married to Jaredā€™s brother and barely lets him hangout with us when we used to spend a lot of time together. This all started over something my mom said to her. Should I try to make up with her for Jaredā€™s sake or just remain neutral towards each other?

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You're NTA.

Her past actions and the drama she's stirred up sounds like too much for anyone wanting to lead a peaceful life.

You're not the asshole.

If there's been a history of negative interactions and hurtful behavior from her, including spreading drama within your family, and you don't want that, do not talk to your sister-in-law. You gotta prioritize yourself in situations like this one.

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4 months ago