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Hi everyone,
I'm really struggling with something that happened recently and need some outside perspective. A couple of nights ago, there was a house fire that started in our kitchen. My fiancee, my sister, and I were all home at the time. The smoke alarms woke us all up.Â
When I woke up, I yelled for my fiancee and my sister to wake up and told them we needed to get out. My sister has always been quick to respond in emergencies. She grabbed a wet towel to cover her face and ran to help me. We got the fire extinguisher and started trying to contain the fire as we were trying to figure out how to escape.
But my fiancee on the other hand completely panicked. She started crying and screaming that we were going to die and that we were trapped. I tried to calm her down and get her to help us, but she was just panicking too much and she was just not acting rationally.
My sister saw my fiancee's panic and she pretty much took charge. She told me to handle the fire while she got my fiancee out of the house. My sister pulled her to safety and called 911. Once I got the fire under control enough to safely leave, I joined them outside.
But seeing my fiancee react that way really disappointed me. I know it was a terrifying situation, but because she couldn’t stay calm, it just made everything more dangerous for all of us. It was just the complete opposite to how my sister reacted. She took control of the situation and helped get us all out safely.
I feel bad about it but I just feel like I've lost a lot of respect for my fiancee because of how she reacted. I love my fiancee, but her panic just makes me question how she would handle future emergencies. I’ve spoken with my sister and she thinks I should just break up with my fiancee because the way my fiancee reacted was unacceptable. What if were were to have kids in the future, and they were in a serious emergency? Would I able to trust me fiancee to handle the situation with calm?
We haven't set a wedding date yet, I only proposed to her a couple months ago, but I just don't know if I want to marry her anymore.
Oh my god she lost a dog in the fire!!!! That’s so heart breaking. Fuck that guy.
You're a fool if you leave her for that reason everybody handles stress differently if you leave her your doing her the favor
Honestly if the genders were reversed this wouldn’t even be a debate so I feel like everyone wants to daddy women but in the end it really does make them helpless. And I’m saying this as a raging feminist. I have many gfs who just think that they can’t do math, or protect themselves, or like, do anything because society has conditioned women to be weak and dainty and reliant and to doubt themselves. So I don’t particularly have anything against your distaste against the damsel in distress syndrome. I feel bad for her, for sure, but I also don’t believe in staying in a relationship because you feel bad for someone, it’s utterly condescending. Sorry that happened to you, and I’m glad you found out you weren’t compatible prior to marriage. I hope the ring wasn’t too brutally expensive and that the breakup isn’t extremely emotionally draining.
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I am so so so sorry she had to go through that that is so heartbreaking 💔