Long story short, I(25) found out my husband (27) of 6 years cheated on me while on a mission (Active Duty Marine). He has begged for my forgiveness and I just can’t get over the betrayal. The women (28) was a colleague of his, well she was actually his Captain and on this mission she allowed lower enlisted soldiers in her room, all men, she drank and did drugs with them. Which is where my ex “slipped up” and they slept together. I found out 6 months later thanks to her telling his friend who she was now dating and his friend (31) barging into my home dragging my husband outside to threaten and “fight” him. They are both lower enlisted and I have his friend now begging me to not tell their chain of command because they would all get in trouble especially him for dating her. Now I could do that, but I got to speak to her and tell her how I knew she knew about me and although she has no obligation to me what she did was still wrong and I hope her daughter did not turn out like her. I recorded the conversation which in my state is allowed. I have her confessing to the drinking/drugs with all the people on mission, to dating the guy to sleeping with my husband. I’ve sat on this recording for a week. After some digging my friends found out her dad is a very important figure in the military who I’m sure would not condone this. I know from personal experience the worst feeling is disappointing your parents… so would IBTA if I sent this recording to her dad? I know the”right” thing to do would be to delete it and forget about them. But I am a person who hates when someone is done wrong and there are no consequences for the other party. Every single one of my friends have said I have handled this calmly and although I am trying to be the bigger person I am finding it very difficult to continue to be.

Edit to add: I am financially independent I don’t need his money or help with anything thankfully. No kids involved thankfully as well. After reading comments I am going to leave her dad out of it. But I am considering talking to their COC after many of you made me see it in a different perspective of if this was a man would I be asking? I thought taking it to the COC was too much and sending to her family would just be petty and not “hurt” anyone as bad. But the more comments about how this is wrong and not okay in the military is making me consider it. I am just nervous on how to move forward since I have been told they do not take wives seriously. I am also going to talk with my ex further to see if this was actually consensual. Since the recording can make it sound as if it wasn’t especially with his claims of not remembering but I just need some time before talking to him to go through that.