I (30NB (AFAB)) have been with my high school sweetheart, "D," (30F) since 2011 (13 years at the time of this post). We got married in 2018 (6 years at the time of this post). Even in high school, I told her that I would like to have a child in the future and I would carry. She was apprehensive, but stated she would like to address the topic in the future. She was on the fence for a bit, but eventually stated that she would be down for it.

A few months before the wedding, she reassured me that we would have a kid together. Fast forward a few years, and my girlfriend, "P," (32F) moves in with us. She has a son, "A," (4M) who stays with us several days out of the month. About a month ago, P started having to work on one of the days we have A. D stated that this would be an opportunity for us to "practice" having our own. I was by myself that entire first day. The next time, I was with A and D never checked in on me/us. She has taken 25mg of edibles to "deal with" being around him even though P and I were present.

This past Sunday, D and I were talking about the dreams we had the night prior. Mine was about trying to sneak snacks so A didn't see I had sweets. D's was about being in a relationship with someone else. D pointed out the differences in what our dreams usually center around. This led to D telling me the conclusion she'd made: that she can't do this and doesn't want to have a kid. She said sorry and the subject was dropped while she made coffee and I ate breakfast with A.

There has been a lot of contention in our relationship since 2019 (roughly 9 months after the wedding) and this felt like the final straw. I don't think I can be with her. We want different things in life and this isn't really something we can work out. I don't know what to do or how to handle this. Do I leave now that we've reached this conclusion? How am I supposed to go about this? We've known each other for over half our lives. I don't want her out of my life. But, at this point, I can't see a future with her as a partner.