Alright so without outing my age I'm hitting a milestone birthday and to be frank I don't want to celebrate it. While most people would say something like just tell people you don't want to celebrate that's a bit of a problem. I can't use work as an excuse sadly.

So over the years I've had numerous incidents that ruined birthdays for me ranging from:

Had a best friend ignore me on my birthday when we were both out of high-school despite me doing something nice for her birthday. She did try to invite me to a vacation at the family lake house for a week but she gave me less than a weeks notice and I was a working person so couldn't get that kind of time off. Following year I planned ahead for hers and made numerous offers which turned into we will see. Then she lied and said she was busy with school turns out it was spring break and again they went to family lake house and my birthday was later ignored she claimed she forgot.

Had my family during said incident basically bad mouthing me behind my back claiming there must be a reason she didn't want me near her.

Got in a relationship. Boyfriend had no money to buy me a gift or take me out for dinner but was bragging to everyone he was going to buy me overpriced custom handpainted shoes to everyone we know. He never did do that or buy me anything at all. When it was brought up among our circle of friends that it was my birthday one friend got me a bottle of soda and a bag of candy.

There was an incident where a different ex of mine yelled at me prior to my birthday that I didn't need gifts because I bought myself what I wanted (i had no friends or family buying me gifts or gifts id want family usually did practical things) so he had 0 ideas what to buy me. We went to a store I didn't shop at and I pointed things out to him. I end up having a cancer scare during this leading up to my birthday. He dumps me in the middle of the scare, harassed me demanded we still needed to be friends then claimed he "bought" me a gift I bought myself days after I was dumped and he'd seen it on social media and that he "returned" his gift because well you already had it. It was a stuffed animal and its well known I have many copies, duplicates and variations of this character.

Had my parents tell me one year I was too fat for cake and didn't need it anyways but then they got me a cake days after my birthday.

Got a cake one year the day after my birthday because dad roasted mom that she forgot.

Had two people promise to spoil me on my birthday planned a sleepover. Friend A) got upset that their gift for me which they ordered last minute was a day late. When it arrived they legit had a temper tantrum because I already owned it from another friend (it was a duplicate of a food grade silicone mold) Friend B) was mad they got me a gift someone else had bought me before and they knew I owned it because I had shown it to them several times. When it was time for my birthday meal they let me fall asleep until everything was closed and had i not woken up they intended on letting me starve since i hadnt eaten since breakfast and they didn't have any food for me to eat since most of their food was single serving ready meals in combos I can't eat, just for them since they said the other roommate ate all their food and snacks. aside from McDonald's and then made me drive us to McDonald's where they spent $40 dollars on food and my food was only $6 (they did pay for that). Made me a birthday cake that I didn't even get to eat. They gave me a single slice to take home and my mom wound up eating it.

Had a free meal at my favorite restaurant and no friends would go with me and pretty much when I asked family was told i was fat.

Got birthday ice cream coupons from cold stone BOGO and got bitched at that I didn't need it im too expletive fat.

I know this is a first world problem I know it is and that I shouldn't complain but it hurts. For the longest time I would go above and beyond for friends I made people birthday meals and desserts, would order cakes, buy food, give good gifts and no one ever returned the favor and the one set of friends that did it for the sleepover made it seem like a massive burden and that they didn't care.

I am at the point now when I make new friends I don't mention my birthday. I help celebrate others but don't say anything about mine, however people still know when it is or can look it up. I've hidden it from my socials. If I say I don't want to celebrate that will just offend my family, if I try and tell my friends no as I've actually gotten better friends I know they'll feel bad because they've been making and doing birthday plans and I've been included on them.