I feel like a complete idiot here. My wife and I have been married for 19 years. We have one child. Our daughter moved out this summer after she enlisted in the armed forces. I love my wife but I felt like the spark was gone from our lives. I didn't want to divorce her so I proposed an open marriage. She was upset initially but eventually she agreed.

Like I said in the title of my post I made a mistake. I have learned that just because I wasn't as attracted to my wife as I was when we got married it doesn't mean other men would feel the same. My wife has so many men and dates she doesn't know what to do with them all. Meanwhile it's the opposite for me. Not only that but after my wife agreed to an open marriage I asked a woman who was a colleague of mine out on a date. I was a manager at my job but I wasn't her manager. We worked in completely different divisions and our work had nothing to do with each other's jobs. But even though I wasn't her manager and I am in an open marriage she complained to her manager and showed HR my messages. I lost my job.

I told my wife I want to close our marriage again because I was an idiot for suggesting it in the first place. She said no, she's happy with how things are. It's killing me when I know she is with other men. My brother called me a moron when I told him and said expecting my wife to look like she did when she got married made me a dunce. He even went so far as to say she takes good care of herself and is in great shape for 44, she just doesn't look 20. He had the nerve to say my wife looks better than me and I could stand to lose some weight.

I love my wife and I don't want a divorce. I never wanted a divorce which is why I proposed this in the first place. But she doesn't want to close the marriage. I'm not worried about money because we both work but I do not want a divorce. I'm just glad my daughter enlisted in the RCAF and isn't here to see our marriage falling apart.