I'm going to be 40 early next year. We're still trying for our 1st and it's been a very painful journey so far. Let me just get this out first... with our tight budget right now, we can't even get ourselves tested to see if we're both healthy to have kids and no, we don't have insurance. It's painful to explain to someone who ask 'If you don't have money, why are you even trying to have kids?'. Yes, I am selfish and I want a child, is that really wrong of me? My husband is indifferent, he'll be happy if we have one, he's also happy now with just the 2 of us, whatever the outcome is, he's fine with that. But I'm not. I always see myself as a mother, since I was young. Never have I imagined that at 40, I'll still be trying. I'm angry at myself for not trying sooner and I judge myself for it. The most pathetic thing for me is, I've never even bought a pregnancy test kit before, because even when the world has let me down so far, Aunt Flo hasn't. She shows up every month, on time. So consistently to the point I go 'Today is period day.' and voila! red panties. She's so reliable, she's annoying! Please be late one of these days, Aunt Flo! Let me buy ONE pregnancy test kit, just once!