There’s a preface / part of the story I describe at first bc it’s an ongoing theme. Feel free to look for the words “now onto the worst part” and read the more intense part of the story, if you’d like.

I (m 27) met a guy off grindr (m40 we will call him A) who had an open relationship with his husband (m32 B). A wanted a guy to have sex with bc his husband and him didn’t have that in their relationship. I was depressed and in a very bad way. A sensed this and convinced me to hangout and get out of my house.. so I did. We hung out, talked, exchanged our life stories and A and I seemed to have connected spiritually. his husband and I all had a little bit of fun. We left on good terms and he told me through text that i was an interesting fun guy. It wasn’t A’s expectations and he sent me so many texts the next day, talking about how it wasn’t what he wanted and going in on the things that he wanted, what I didn’t do right. It hurt me a lot and at one point I was close to tears. It was very intense. We were able to get to a good spot bc he told me I was one of the few to hear him out.

Once we were on a good spot he said something over text that came across as if he wanted to end being friends, I basically said if that was the choice then let’s go. I began blocking him on many dif social media and thought he blocked me over iMessage bc he was in a low cell reception area. We eventually talk on a phone call and clear the air.

Next day we hangout and he shows me a convo between his husband and himself and he was frustrated with how I wanted to make everything up to him after the initial hangout we had. It all ended good but none of this was ever mentioned to me that he felt a type of way bc I wanted to repay him from the night we initially had.

We agreed (A & I to just be friends with some benefits). Now the worst part. A asked me if I wanted to attend a dinner get together he was having that was planned for the end of the week. I had plans to go to Maine with a friend (we will call him C) at a cabin rental. C had done this for years and invited a bunch of people to go to the rental place. I tell A I had plans but thanked him.. C had a big falling out with the cabin owners, on top of having car issues as well as other things hitting the fan. I had the weekend requested off still but instead of going to the cabin without him I opted to stay home bc I felt bad and didn’t want C to be on his own.

I texted A and said how my plans were screwed bc of the situation at hand. A said I was always welcome to hang with him. The next day at 7am A texts me saying to not bother coming over. We get into a text back and forth for a while. Eventually getting to a state of calm understanding on both sides of myself and A..

Few minutes later A goes off on me saying how his husband was right and starts going in on everything I ever said or done, how I may have misrepresented myself on Grindr and never took accountability for it. Literally everything and anything he mentioned to me. He ends it with saying bc I wasn’t a sexual person to him and it was on his mind that we’re done. I agreed and went on my way and message B on Facebook and told him it was cute how he used his husband as a messenger. I went off on both of them bc I got to my breaking point. Not proud of this but I felt low enough to the point where I found a knife of some kind and cut my leg a few times until I bled. It had been years since I self harmed. It numbed me.

I ended everything at last by sending an audio message to A: “For the past two weeks I’ve been taken apart and had my personality, anything I’ve done or said, things I haven’t said. Picked apart and analyzed in such insane ways. I’ve felt destroyed and every time everything was good, it was good until it wasn’t and the decisions and mood were changed on me. This has resulted in my cutting myself because I’ve felt so less of a human and have been absolutely destroyed. “

literally just wanted some sympathy for helping a friend and trying to hangout with another friend (A) who’s company I enjoyed. I did expect A to understand my situation but bc the other people he invited backed out, he didn’t with my situation.

Wouldn’t wish this on anyone.