I(male) am a hardworking person and with always good intentions for everyone.

My wife of 4 years and I are in happy relationship and we love each other. She is innocent Christian girl. We met as teenagers so we have not been with anyone else.

I got to know about nudity and swingers and have been pushing her into it. I make a sad face and get her to do stuff. For example, starting with sharing nudes of reddit, going to nude beaches, taking nude walks on the beach, making her wear revealing clothes, getting massages from men.

She doesn’t like it at first yet does it for me. Afterwards when I ask her if she felt bad she says: “i didn’t feel bad, but I didn’t feel good either. It’s okay”.

I fantasise her swinging with other men, gang bangs etc. If I keep going on this route, I feel that would be the eventual outcome. Some part of me knows that this is wrong but I cannot stop myself.

I am in such a dilemma. Is this normal. Or should I get help.