She's a Ukranian beauty, stunning and painfully sexy, with curves in all the right places and gorgeous eyes. Perhaps it would've been less tormenting if her personality isn't captivating, or if we didn't share a dormitory. But it's as if I was put on this earth to be a toy she plays with like a cat plays with a mouse.

I was desperate for her approval, for any bit of attention. The massive crush on her was obvious, but even still I have no idea if she even recognized it. At first I thought she did, the crumbs of attention she gave me lived in my head 24/7. Whether it was that one time she adjusted my hoodie, or that one time she laid her head on my lap during a poker game with other friends, or when her boobs started pressing against me extra tight when she hugged me. I was assured that she returned my feelings and was on cloud 9, thinking up a storm on how to officially ask her out.

I finally gathered up the courage to do it, I knocked on her door, I was greeted with her beautiful smile, and I watched it turn into a frown of disappointment when I asked, and no answer. After a few seconds of silent pause, almost like she didn't hear me, she asked me if im free on that Saturday. I was confused and my heart was sunk, and I said of course. She sent me on my way. I went back to my place even more uncertain of whether she returned my feelings. I knew one thing, and that is to keep my Saturday completely free. When the day came, I excitedly waited for her follow-up, only to not get any response until that night when she told me that she forgot about it and had an invitation she had to attend. I was humiliated, I cancelled all my plans for that day, and I looked forward to it all week. I realized how she doesn't even think about me, let alone has feelings for me.

Wanting to keep what's left of my dignity I didn't confront her about it, and pretended that it didn't bother me. Her behavior started getting amplified, she had me wrapped around her finger. She teased me, made me do things for her, cook for her after long days of lectures, wake up early to drive her to her morning yoga classes. I was happy with her thank yous and occasional head scratches. I wanted to win her over so badly. The more I did for her, the less of a man she saw in me. She felt no sexuality towards me, and that made her more open and comfortable around me, often wearing next to nothing whenever we'd watch a movie together while I showered her feet with massages. Hearing her let out slight whimpers when I did a good job.

The day I realized that I have absolutely no chance of getting her is the day she texted me to come to her room to help her try outfits on. I thought that was finally it, it was happening. I still don't know how it ended up like it did, but that evening the only thing I did was pick out the lipstick that she had on when she went out for the night, and I stayed in my room contemplating what just happened.

I honestly still wonder if she knew what she was doing to me, just didn't care, or actually enjoyed reducing me to this. There's several stories with her that I don't think I'll ever forget, but I think this thread is already getting too long. I'd love to share more later on, as it just kept getting more ruthless.