the whole uyniverse was like a bunch of em all all universe and and it ewas k it was like 7 or 8 of em and they all came to gether and then the lorkahnm man died and his heart literally penetratinged the mundus and became the hearts of men and then high elves shit themselves and made aldmeris semi real only bc they believed in it and a bunch of other human types were all over and the atmorans were the ameircas and the tamriel is the eurasia (high rock looks like a penis and also like finland) hammerfell is italy etc so the elves were all doing the thing and then one guy was like fuck it's time to chim and so he left and took people with him and then the best guys worshipped chaddy daddy trinimac and then sime femboy boethia vored him and took a shit and made orcs and stuff and so then the high elves inbred and became really weak to magic and the elements bc they didnt want to become the poop and to and so so the the guys who left fuckin hated the smart chads except the nerevar guy and they do a fight or something and then to win some guy does a thing to the literal hearts of mortals and poofs himself out so all their houses and shit became like fallout 76 (when it was good and had no npcs fuck i miss those times) anyway so then the chomster chimster vivvy kek said yabba dabba doo lets become gods now and nerevar said no so he got off'd and then like vivvy kek touched the heart of mortals and became super powerful or something but then another super powerful person (who was that way to bgin with) said fuck that shit you betrayed me and made everyone black (only the elves there) and so thin the chimster and pals ruled over them for forever.

meanwhile in america the nords go to the russia and make a city and the elves shit themselves because the nords were using the eye of magnus as a buttplug but the nords didnt know that so it looked like a barbaric slaughter attack and the american guy goes back an gets like 500 other guys and they fucking destroy the elves and stuff and make a bucnh of stuff happen and then like dragons show up i guess and then go away idk i havent gotten there in skyrim yet and then men spread around and some shut happens and then caesar mcripoff septim makes a cult of personallity so strong people make him into a god bc they like him so damn much and his emprie and that works for a while meanwhile

meanwhile in morrwingd the chimster is having a bad day cuz the ool mask guy is touching the heart and is actually a god this time fr fr and is making a cool robot thing and is gonna do a bad guy or whatever and the guy who got offed several words ago he maybe sorta comes back or whatever and then just before beating the mask guy he meets an old man in the inn and it's the empire itself, its the godhead of the old emperor guy from long ago and he says its time for somethung new so the nectarine (revived offed guy) cant kill mask man, so he kills the heart of mortals somehow and it stops the magic from flowing to these gods and they effetively die by becoming mortal again which sucks

chimster included he is no longer omni man or whatever just is man, so sad no more yellow blue

anyway the powers that be pull a lord of the rings retcon thing, the sneaky and intelligent emperor who may have kicked off the whole chimster death prophecy thing is retconned into a weak old man who dies over fucking nothing and a big thing happens with shitty level scaling and nobody plays it because it sucks and im not downloading 39 of your favorite mods to "fix" the game

so the emperor gets macguffined and so does everyone else related to him and 200 years pass and the high elves kinda do a hitler sorta kinda but not as sinister bc it isnt irl and anyway they do a war thing and win and then the skyrim and like this one political does the things and then a spooky dragon man comes back for you to defeat and its all simple fun just dont look into it anyway dont forget your soup or stew because the ce 1 hp regen is effectively a double of what you normally regen in combat anyway bye