>be me

>ate magic

>ate magic users

>fockin pussies oi tell ya

>luv me sword

>luv bashin skulls

>luv me wife (saved er from bandits oi did)

anyway

>in solitood

>need som fockin noice cloves for som party

>stupid piss ewf gives me em foh free yeh? prolly on account ov me good looks

>long story short oi've goh' an audience wiff da queen (bless her soul)

>som schupid tosser sez there's a cave makin noise up norf

>offer to check it out, luv bashin skulls in

​

(took meself a week 'ere to kill som piss elf wankers, but oi made it there in the end)

​

>so I makes it to the cave yeh? noffin 'cept som schupid magic users, bash em as always

>find a tunnel heddin deeper, oi always get the job dun right, 'ed on in

>bloody yuge cavern

>bloody mages are 'avin a giant magic sphere, suckin purple outta the rocks yeh

>don't know what they fink they're doing bot it ends now

>mages start chanting about "the wolf queen", now oi ain't no ewf, but the missus 'as 5 books on 'er, figure she must be important

>start smashin nutters left and right

>oi make it to the top ov the towah, yell at em to bugger off

>they do

>fink all is good, when oi 'ere som ghostly twat yellin' about "freedom" or som soch

>see oll the purple fly out the cave like when the missus burns the cooking (luv 'er wiff all me 'art)

>don't know wot jost 'append bot oi know it ain't good

fockin magic

fockin mages

fockin ewves

we neveh should've left atmora, oi fink