My mother and father have been separated since I was like 2. I don't like most of the people on my mother's side & that's the side I grew up with and typically spent Thanksgiving with growing up. Now, as an adult, I've decided to distance myself from them.

My fathers side is SO awkward. But I feel obligated to go over there because I want to try and help bring them together instead of being a part of the reason they continue to fall apart.

My grandfather married a very sweet woman whom I have known ever since I can remember. She passed away earlier this year. So, I am going to assume her half of the family isn't going to show up to their Thanksgiving this year. My older sister is in jail, even tho she probably wouldn't come if she wasn't. My dad's wife is divorcing him & I think she won't be coming or bringing my two little twin half sisters.

So that just leaves my aunts(twins too), my father, and my grandfather. My aunts don't speak to my father, which is going to be very awkward if I come, and it's just the 5 of us.

Also, I am gay, I haven't told my dads side & it's just hard to navigate how to socialize with them because I feel like there are social expectations I have not fulfilled. Like I've never been in a relationship, and I don't see myself getting married or having kids ever. Typically, I find older family members like to ask about that kind of stuff, but they can't with me. I do have a lot of other stuff going on but idk families just like talking about marriage/relationships & kids, it makes me very uncomfortable to think that I'm going to be the only one representing the younger generation of the family & I don't like the thought of my presence being prominent in the house. It would be a lot better if more people were there, and I could kind of just slip away and/or hide in the background.

I don't know if they are even doing anything because I do not even want to call because it's just so awkward. The thought of them having a thanksgiving without me makes me feel a little bad. Their numbers are dwindling down & I don't want to be included in the people who have fallen off.