And I do not feel good about it. I feel so bad. I didn’t know he would want to really be with me. I didn’t know how serious we would feel about each other. At first I thought well it will suck when he finds out but I won’t be around. But I am around and I feel so bad. He was being irresponsible, but I should have pushed harder for condoms. I don’t know if he thinks he got it from someone before me or from me, but I know he didn’t get mad at me or blame me at all. I knew he didn’t deserve it, and he probably won’t hold it against me, but I still can’t face telling him. I should, even if he knows already. I just keep dismissing the idea because he doesn’t ask about it and said he didn’t care about stds. I just didn’t want him to hurt. I think about the person who gave it to me, and I don’t feel any anger towards them. I mean it’s not HIV. But I do wish they cared about what I had to deal with. I don’t know. I tried to be caring towards him about it. I mean I feel like if he doesn’t talk about it, it’s probably okay. But I also worry that he feels guilty for not being safe, which I don’t want him to more than necessary. It wasn’t all his fault.