So the title seems kind of self explanatory but I just really need to get this off my chest and put it to the world for someone to read.

I am a 23f and have always been a good, well mannered, hardworking, and educated human being.

I worked full time through high school and never missed/ ditched classes throughout my 4 years. I graduated high school in 2017 with a 3.5 GPA, never took free blocks and graduated with more credits than I needed.

To please my family I started college right after high school, going full time and worked a full time job on the side.

In 2020 I attempted to take myself off the planet and failed (thankfully) but it got me thinking that obviously I survived to make a difference. I am not religious but clearly I wasn’t meant to go but am now stuck with the reality that I have to do something with my life and have no clue what I want to do. My family has always put me on a pedestal as the good kid and compares me to my younger sister in an attempt to get her to buck up which sucks for her and scares me.

What if I am not everything they expected me to be? I don’t want kids, don’t have a partner, and don’t have a path for myself yet. Will I ever live up to their expectations?