I barely know how to text this, I'm just so exhausted of being alive and still keep going, exhaust of explain this million of times...I was created by a shithead father who just torture my head every single day of my fucking live, I can't get off my house because in this shit country (Brazil) it is just impossible to live alone and do college without almost stay without food every month. I mean I'm a pretty guy, got an aesthetic body, date whit a pretty girl, got my friends sometimes to support me and I do fine with my mom. But idk guys, this feeling of hate just consume my soul and stay around every single day in my head like a little Devil, every day I need to discuss with him because he couldn't let me live in peace, I'm a really pro-active guy, I do EVERYTHING that I can and it is not sufficient.

It's being 20y of this madness, I'm broke and can't do anything else to try avoid this things. Only in this month I crash my car 3 times because my head just don't work well no more, the feeling I get is that my life just say "nah his being suffering by 20y, let's make it harder", I mean when all this shit is gonna to stop? I really need to be the new joker and start doing psycho things? I'm too broke that the simple reason of see people give me a insane feeling of angry and I just cross my fingers to see someone get hurt or just die. I'm sick of all, even with a gf and some friends I just feel alone, because no one can help me and that's a fact, no one can really do a thing that stop this fucking torture, no one know how it feels to be me, because everyone was normal and have a nice family, have a place to call home...

I always a good guy, really, all my life I try to help people and make the difference. But with all this things going on since I was born I'm starting to feel that the """evil""" starts to change me, I mean if I'm suffering all this year's doing absolutely NOTHING to no one, why I just don't become to be a shit person and starts to do really bad shit, like I'm already punish without do nothing, at least if I'm a bad person the suffering will have a reason to happen.

Idk, if anyone just wanna spread the hate, text me. I'm gonna to be really happy knowing that I'm not alone suffering the madness of life.