So, I've had trauma of my ex trying to strangle me to death when I told him I was leaving him because I was tired of his outbursts and verbal abuse. He also would sometimes rape me while I was sleeping. I'd wake up with him inside me, thrusting away and choking me. (6-7 years ago) I am now with a sweet man who does everything he can to help me feel loved and appreciated.

I've been being startled awake lately (past couple months off and on) feeling like I can't breath and there's something gripping my neck. It takes me a long time to calm down and I don't know what to do. I've been trying to stay up later at night because it only seems to be really bad/scary after dark. If I sleep during the day time it doesn't happen as often. I'm worried that I won't be able to hold down a job or get decent sleep anymore. (I take days to relax enough to sleep through the night after I startle awake like that, I toss and turn and wake up with nightmares for days afterwards.)

I honestly have no idea what to do. Unfortunately I can't afford therapy as I'm out of work and unable to work currently. I'm trying to make do while I work through the trauma/side effects on my own time with self imposed limited help from support network. ( I dislike causing drama or burdening other people with my traumas, especially considering I sometimes take too much time/energy from others like my nparents did to me.)