Here recently so many things have happened that have made me wonder if life is just cruel and if should just live with it or not.

For some context I'm a 25M who is married to the love of my life with a beautiful 3yo daughter and another on the way. Been in the military for 3yrs 9mo, currently E4. Currently we are making ends meat due to my wife wanting to be home with the kid to raise her and homeschool when the age is right. Payments and other amenities make it to where we barely save anything a month if anything at all. My work keeps me there until 8:00pm most nights and deployments/duty make it hard to help me be with the family. I feel like I'm trying to work hard enough to support the family but when I see people who do nothing at all at work and get awards and recognition when I do their jobs make the job satisfaction little to none.

On top of this we just paid $900 to get my car fixed which has been in the shop since July. We had to take a payday loan to afford the payment. Dealership said it was fixed and as soon as I'm less than 1 mile away the same issues occur. We don't have the best credit score or the money per month to pay for a new or used car loan especially with us having two kids soon and a single income family. Military legal is saying there isn't much we can do about it so getting a refund is out of the question.

I feel like my wife is angry at me due to our relationship being strained de to the money and stress from it and my job. I feel like she and my daughter deserve better and shouldn't half to worry about these sort of things. However, every time I see my daughter or wife smile at me I can't go through the things I want to do. Life is becoming hard to live through with the stress from my job and the money. I just don't know what to do anymore.