By the time I was 24 I was almost 320lbs and I uvae spent the last 4 years losing that weight. I am now 145lbs, I've lost more than halve my body weight but gained an eating disorder. I mostly lost through keto.

All I've gained is depression, which I can't treat, due to lack of money for the doctors, and it is treating me apart. And I no longer can eat like a normal person, I feel so bad, over eating something different from my normal keto food. I can't enjoy food with my friends any more or even on my own. I can't get help as there is no help other than expensive therapy in the country I'm in. I can't pay $80 and hour. That is more than my weeks food bill!

The guilt and depression is swallowing me whole and I don't know how to change that. I tried talking to my friends but they don't understand it as they have never experienced any disordered eating and can't comprehend that I can't "just eat normally" I don't even know what that is. I can either binge and purge which caused me to be obease or have a restricted diet where there is very little I can actually eat and I fidn myself making more restrictions without even realizing that that is what I'm doing.