I (18) keep finding myself having feelings for a close friend of mine (24 or so) of a long time. She’s really cool and just an all around great person. But I have next to no chance with her.

1. She’s known me since I was around 13 which makes any romantic thought between us very awkward for her especially.
2. She’s mentioned that the age gap between us as young as we are is too uncomfortable for any kind of relationship past friendship.
3. She does not live in the same country as I do (well, technically she does but she lives in PR which is pretty much entirely irrelevant to the mainland).
4. I’ve already been shut down by her before.

I keep trying to forget all about my attraction to her. It works for a while but I start to feel for her again. The cycle kept repeating even when I was in a relationship with someone for about a year. I don’t really know what to do aside from swallowing my feelings again and hoping I don’t trick myself into thinking I have a chance with her.