This takes place fairly recently - back in December 2017.

After graduating university - I struggled a lot in securing a job - the only jobs I could find at the time were zero hour contract jobs as a care assistant - however eventually I got a part-time job as a care assistant 24 hours week, night shift.

At the time..I had no experience to get a job in any other field and was really stubborn, I was told I could do much better than this but I always use to brush it off "I have no experience - this is all I can do." I should also mention that I'm a very anxious and sensitive person - I can take things to heart very easily.

Now on to the actual events: When I was working at this Care Home, I was always put with this horrible woman, At first she seemed nice and friendly, but that didn't last very long.

During my shifts with her, she would take advantages of me during my time in the workplace, we were the only two workers in the entire care home during the night shifts, so there wasn't anyone I could go to for support.

This woman would make me do things that were against care home policies and could even cause injuries. For example - we had a resident that was overweight and needed 2 people to lift her (this is dangerous, but the care home did not have a host.) However, she would make me do this woman on her own, which was immensely difficult - whenever I asked for help, as I visibly struggling her response was always " I can do it by myself." (What you can do, doesn't necessary mean other people can do it aswell.) This woman had 2 years experience in this care home and was of a much stronger build than I am.

Another time, she made me adjust the paddles of a wheelchair - I had never seen this type of wheelchair before and she hadn't shown me how it was suppose to be done - instead she just watched me struggle and berated me for not knowing something I wasn't trained in.

Another time, we were moving the client that I had mentioned earlier on to the bed, because of the weight of the client and not being trained to move things physically using my hands - I really struggled with this, and instead of giving me tips or support she instead labelled me as "fucking pathetic."

There was a lot more than this that happened with this woman, every time at the end of my shifts, I would go home on the bus, crying my eyes out, thinking that I was a fucking loser, that'll never get a job I'm good at. It got to the point where I started having anxiety attacks hours before my shift were to start, constantly thinking to myself " I hope my shift isn't with her."

The last straw happened during the final days of January 2018 - by this point going to work was a nightmare - it was entering Satan's domain.

However at some point during this month - I became really ill and needed to take sick leave from work. Despite feeling really under the weather, I had only taken a day off and had not fully recovered.

The next day at work, I was in worse...I felt ridiculously tired - I could hardly even stand up at all and just felt all round really weak - both physically and mentally. I made so many mistakes during this particular day, and it didn't help that I had my shift with.....her....

At the end of the shift, my manager called me in and of course berated me for being incompetent at my job - even uttering lies that woman had told her which were not actually true - saying I was only here to "get a diploma" and so on. She had threatened to get me fired unless I up the anti in literally a week. (in other words 2 days..).

I thanked the manger for the feedback, got up, sat next to my mum in the car and literally just burst in to tears. I thought to myself "It's all over...I can't stay in this hell any longer, 2 days is no where near enough to improve performance. I'm gonna be fired, my life is over." Unable to take the stress - I went home and immediately sent an email to the manager, telling her that I quit - I was done and that this place was having severe effects on my mental health.

The events had such a negative effect on me that it lead to slight behavioural problems during that time. I would snap over the smallest things at family members, try to self-harm and had suicidal thoughts. I would imagine myself jumping off a bridge, getting hit by a car, being murdered and so on. Basically, I just wanted to die...I had no future..what was the point in living.

My mum became concerned about my behaviour and booked me to see the GP without me knowing. I was annoyed at the time..wtf do I tell the GP?

Eventually, I went with my mum to my GP appointment and told the GP about my anger bursts. He recommend that I have some Cognitive Behavioural Therapy and I happily agreed.

The counselling sessions were once a week, they were helpful to an extent but they couldn't change the awful situation I was in. They could only help me control my anger and suicidal thoughts.

However, by some miracle - an opportunity arrived during my 6 weeks of counselling. I saw an advert online for some voluntary work as an administrator for a mental health charity. I was reluctant at first.. it was voluntary but it wasn't easy by the looks over it. It was volunteering to give advice to people on their anxiety amongst other tasks. There was no way I could do this, I was too stupid. However I spoke to my brother about the advert and he persuaded me to give it a go, telling me he believed I had the potential and it would be helpful.

Reluctantly, I applied to for the role and got an interview. A few days later I was offered the role! and started my volunteer work. I volunteered for 8 months and during that time it helped me to grow my confidence and improved my overall mental health. I received constant positive feedback from my boss, got along really well with my coworkers, and would always be asked by them for help.

After having my confidence brought up through volunteering and having gotten 8 months experience..I decided to look for a full-time paid job within administration.

I stumbled across one on the NHS website for a temporary 6 months administration job. I of course applied and was offered an interview within a few days. The weekend after the interview, I received a call from the manager and had been offered the job!

Fast forward today and I'm currently still working there (although my contract ends on 31st March.) and it's honestly a great place to work at. The staff are really supportive and friendly, the managers are very helpful and give great support, my own manager is someone I get a long really well with and is very easy going. My colleagues are hard workers but care free, serious when they need to be but will also have a laugh and a joke with each other. Not only that, but I have gotten positive feedback from both my colleagues and my manager. Sure...I've made mistakes, and sometimes I've had really bad days..but I've never been ridiculed, insulted or berated for these mistakes like I was at that awful care home, instead I was told how I could improve and what I had done wrong - helping me to better my work performance.

So yea, to that girl who bullied me in that care home...thank you.. because if you didn't and were instead kind to me, I probably would have still been there today - working in that care home, not realising I had the potential to do so much better..

But..because you bullied me, made me feel like a piece of shit and eventually caused me to quit due to fear of bullying, it ironically lead to me getting a much better job.

While you are still stuck in that care home, I'm moving forward and improving little by little.

TL;DR: Girl bullies me at work..causing me to quit due to anxiety attacks and suicidal thoughts - got into volunteering and landed a full-time job i'm happy in.