I think I'm supposed to feel like I'm missing something in my life. I think it's okay to want to fill the gap I created when I left you with something.

I'm scared to death because I see the signs of my depression coming back.

I don't think I made the wrong choice.

I'm going through a phase where I miss the physical things most. I miss the sex. I miss the cuddling. I miss the seduction.

But it's like, I miss it from you specifically, because if I was just missing sex in general I could get it, from someone. It would involve some risk, but maybe not even that much.

I kept thinking on the beach, with the beautiful sunset, that I made the right decision in coming out here but I hate that it is the right decision.

I have never been very patient.

I'm trying to learn. I'm practicing.

When I see sunsets like the one tonight, I fall in love. Not with a person. I just have a general feeling that everything is right. That the world is full of possibilities for me. That I'm going to be okay and that it's good just to love life.

I wish I could go home and not be afraid I'd kill myself if I did. There was so much love in that little apartment.