We have been broken up for four years and she recently came back into my life. We talk everyday and when we’re hanging out it feels like we’re back together. But it kills me when I ask her if she remembers something from our past and she doesn’t.

I can remember vividly the last time I saw her before she broke up with me via text. I remember the gift I got her that Christmas and I can still feel the cold air on my face as we stood outside. I remember the was she smelled and what she wore.

Now all these years later It cuts me to know I wasn’t enough. It makes it worse that all these moments I have engrained in my memory have slipped your mind. When we hang out I feel like we’re almost back together. Then you tell me about your problems with new guys who aren’t even half of me.

Sometimes I feel like telling you how I feel. I want to tell you that I don’t care about the new guys you date or hearing how you can’t sleep because you’re up all night crying. I hate to see you hurt but it’s because you keep giving them chances.

It’s killing me to see the woman you’re settling to be when I know who you really are. And just as I build up the courage to tell you I don’t because I don’t want to lose you even if we’re just friends.