Hey Reddit,

Would you date someone in a wheelchair?

I’m 30, and dating has been rough—like, really rough. I use a wheelchair for longer distances due to cerebral palsy, and it feels like no matter what I do, people see the chair first and not me. It’s frustrating, and honestly? It sucks.

I’m independent, driven, and I love deep conversations, spontaneous adventures, and sharing laughs with someone special. But it feels like none of that matters when the first thing people notice is my wheelchair. I can’t help but feel like there’s this assumption that I can’t live a fulfilling life—whether it’s traveling, having fun, or even being intimate. And just to clear it up: I can do all of that, including sex.

I’ve tried dating apps, putting my best foot forward, but I always hesitate when it comes to mentioning my wheelchair. Should I be upfront right away, or wait until someone gets to know me? It feels like I’m stuck in this weird space of wanting to be honest but not wanting to scare people off before they even take a chance to see who I am beyond the chair.

I guess I just want to hear from people—whether you’ve dated someone with a disability or not. What are your honest thoughts? Have you ever thought about it, or is it just an automatic deal-breaker?

I’m not looking for pity; I just want real talk. Because at the end of the day, I’m just a guy who wants connection like everyone else. Would love to hear your perspectives.

Thanks for reading.