Emotions are important but you shouldn't allow them to control you. They're part of the human experience that passes over time. Learning to detach from them and look at them from a 3rd person perspective has helped me understand myself more and more.

I used to be suicidal cause I was extremely harsh to myself. And for no reason either. I even met people throughout my life that would motivate this self-hatred. Whether that was being treated like trash or they used my insecurity as a tool to use for their benefit. At one point, you have to look into why you hate yourself. At the end of the day. You are a human being. Even if you're not exceptional or good enough. Who cares? You're the only that can choose how to live you're life. There's no reason anything exists at its core.

At the end of the day. You are an animal on a planet that inhabits life on a solar system inside of a star cluster. Nothing else.

Instead of judging, just observe. You'll learn more about yourself than you'll realize. You deserve analysis, understanding and honesty. Not punishment.