Hi everyone. Today was an above average shitty day that left me choking back tears all day.

For context I work at a family Italian restaurant that’s been open for 74 years. Most of our customers are old and have been coming here since they were kids. I started working here in January. Some days are so slow and other days you can’t even take a moment to breathe because it’s busy. It hasn’t really been the best job. Like the work is easy but the people are the worst. There’s a lot of drama between staff and managers. And the place is super old fashioned. They use reservation books, like physical paper. For scheduling they print out a paper and put it on a cork board. And so many other things. But to be honest I make a reasonable amount there so I just keep my head down and mind my own business. There’s only a few people I actually talk to.

Today I was serving and my one coworker was on the bar. (let’s call her C) her and I were friendly with each other. Like we were almost friend status. She invited me to her birthday and that’s the only time we’ve hung out. Anyway. I had two ladies order cappuccinos which the bar makes so I ring it in and go check if the ticket went through. (Earlier today I was waiting awhile for a beer and C claimed the ticket didn’t go through) She said she got it and I left. A few mins later I went and checked to see if they were done because I know they have to do it one at a time so I wanted to bring the first one out right away so it didn’t get cold. Wasn’t ready. So I went and checked on a different table. Few minutes go by so I go check the bar. The cappuccinos are still not ready. So I go and bring out food for my other table and tell the ladies their Capps will be out shortly. I go back to the bar one Capp is done and there C setts the other one and says “these might be cold they’ve been sitting up here for awhile” i remember grabbing the cups and thinking “weird I just checked and they weren’t up there” I drop off the drinks. I give the ladies a few mins and go check on them. Well they hated them. They were watery and cold and they didn’t want them. They said “tell who ever made this they did it wrong” so I get my manager and I told her what the ladies said and asked her to take them off. Her reply was “were they sitting up there for awhile?” I told her that C said they were but i checked on them twice and they weren’t ready. She tells me that the machine makes it boiling hot so it must have been. Well not if C forgot to turn the machine on till i ordered the cappuccino’s but idk if that’s what happened or not. So whatever she takes the drinks off and walks away. I just keep my head down and drop it. A few minutes later my other table tells me he’ll be ready for another beer soon so I ring it in right away. I check the bar twice to see if the beer is ready before the guy tells me he’s finished the one he had (hinting he wants his beer now) I grab his empty bottle and walk over to the bar and stand were we pick up drinks. C sees me standing there and then grabs the beer and hands it to me saying “I was just waiting for you so the beer didn’t get warm” in that moment I got so angry but I bit my tongue and just walked away to give the guy his beer. After I set that beer down and walked way I had to step outside to cry. I know this sounds dramatic but I’ve felt like an outcast at work. It’s just been a rough couple of weeks of people being weird and saying things to my manager and her screaming at me and today it just really hit me i couldn’t just shake it off like usual. So that anger just festered inside of me and boiled over and i walked over to C and said “you don’t need to wait for me. I can come and get it” and she said “well I did that because that cappuccinos got voided” so I snapped back and told her “I came and checked on those twice. That wasn’t my fault. But whatever” and walked away. I didn’t care that there was people at the bar. I just spoke my shit. Well obviously I embarrassed her or pissed her off because I ran into her in the kitchen shortly after and she said “don’t you ever talk to me like that again. I’m not playing” and walked away. Well turns out the other server I was working with (who had started here a month or two ago and I was friendly with and talked to as well) told me my manager had told C to say something to me. So clearly my manager took her side.

I’m so sick of working here. I genuinely need the money that’s the only reason i haven’t quit yet. I’ve been applying and searching for better jobs so I can leave. I actually almost left recently because I started working at another restaurant but I made less money than the Italian place, and there was some weird shit going on there too so I quit there. I feel like I always have bad luck with restaurants and with my jobs.

Today just took so much out of me. I was shaking and I felt nauseous and like i couldn’t breathe for hours after this happened.

Anyway to those of you who read this all thank you. I know I can drone on and on but i genuinely needed to get this off my chest.