I'm M23. I hate being gay. Everyone just wanna hookup and not into deep relationships. And living in conservative and religious country didn't help either. I've tried dating several guys and it didn't worked at all. I know I know, I'm ugly skinny asian guy. I've been closeted for my whole life and day by day it slowly feeling the weight on me. I know if i come out i would lose my friends and family. I wish i was accepted in my community but I know it won't happen. I would love to move another country someday but too bad I'm broke af. I've been thinking about suicide a lot but too bad I'm too coward to do it. I wish i was straight. Life as a straight guy would be easier for me. I don't think I'll ever found my true love forever. My fate is sealed here. I wish i was brave to commit suicide. I don't know if i ever live after this. I wish i never born.