Switching from a swinger/ENM relationship back to a vanilla relationship has been quite a shift for us. During our swinging phase, our sex and intimacy were fantastic. We had sex daily and participated in swinging about once a month. The anticipation before an event or meeting a couple always turned us on for days. We engaged in group sexting, exchanged naughty pictures, and constantly talked about how hot the experiences were afterward. This excitement translated into a lot of passionate sex.

However, my partner eventually expressed that while the sex was great, she didn't want to continue with an ENM relationship. She felt our sex life had become too focused on swinging, with the heightened intimacy mainly revolving around those experiences. Though we weren't swinging all the time, our conversations and anticipation about it frequently led to sex. When we had no lifestyle events planned, our sex was still regular but less intense.

I agreed to leave the lifestyle because I care about her. Unfortunately, since then, our sex life has dwindled to almost nothing. Sex now feels like a chore rather than something exciting. Whenever we discuss swinging or tease the idea of going to a swinger club, our sex life briefly improves, but she ultimately decides against it, and the excitement fades again.

I'm now at a crossroads, seriously debating whether I can ever be fully satisfied in a completely vanilla relationship. I'm struggling with the drastic change and wondering if staying with her is the right choice for both of us.