So I’ve been single my entire life. Only had a handful of dates that all went no where. I’ve tried apps, talking in person, here on Reddit and it all seems like I’m meant to be alone. I know I’m not “alone”. I have friends and family that love me, but I just have to empty hollow feeling, especially this time of year.

Never have been in a relationship, I’ve never spent Valentine’s Day on a date or with some one special.

I know this isn’t the biggest of things, I feel like I’m writing this more to just let it out and get it out of my system.

I guess the best way to describe is the guy who friends who are girls ask “How are you still single, you’re so amazing” but when I would ask them out they have some excuse. And that’s nothing against them, they are great people and I know they are trying to cheer me up and they don’t owe me anything like dating me or something like that. I know I’m not owed a relationship or anything.

I’ve been trying to date since high school with out really any luck. I can still remember the look of disgust on one girls face when I asked her out. Also all the girls who cut contact after I asked them out. I know I didn’t need them in my life and don’t. Just stings knowing that’s their reaction and it still plays in my head from time to time.

It’s just crappy seeing friends getting in to relationships all the time, getting married, having kids and I’m head like “Damn it would be cool to find some one to cuddle and watch dumb stuff with”.

I’m almost 35 now and just feel like I’ve tried and there’s no point in continuing. But that emptiness is just a constant reminder. I deleted all my apps on my phone that have to do with dating though. The only women I matched with were only fans models looking to get me to pay for their photos or women looking to charge for hook ups. I took all the dumb advice from people and nothing worked and friends never really had anyone to set me up with.

I always say to myself, I’m done and will just be alone, I don’t need anyone. But damn, Valentines is just a big hurt every year.

Thanks to listening to my ramble. Again, more me just trying put words to my feelings.