We got married outside of Chicago then they moved to the UK 7 years ago. Getting a spouce visa is extremely stressful and expensive, but we were in love so we jumped through all the hoops and after paying a total of nearly £7k they finally were approved a permanent visa (not a citizenship). I paid for the vast majority of this as they've not been working.

I thought they were going to be my partner for the rest of our lives, but things have been a little shaky for years.

They came out as non-binary about 3 years ago. I've been nothing but supportive and encouraging. We haven't had sex for about 4 years - and we both thought it might be because of body dysmorphia or the fact they have endometriosis.

We're just back from a week's vacation in Amsterdam and I thought I'd treat myself to an expensive fleshlight. Didn't see any I wanted while there so decided to look back at home online last night.

And that's when they told me. They told me they think they're not attracted to me and haven't been attracted to me for years. Money management came up as well but I'm the only one that works - they have never been able to hold down a job so I've been financially supporting us both on an average salary.

So, after actually begging them to reconsider, they said they want to see other people. They weren't willing to talk about it further.

I went to my neighbours house to cool down and chat and when I came back home... I walked in on them masturbating

What the fuck? We have explored so many routes to try get them help with sexual issues and they start masturbating while I'm gone???

Looking back at our relationship, there's been times I've thought to myself, what would life be like if we broke up? I crave physical touch, it's my love language, and I feel like I've been starved of physical touch for years. Ive brought it up countless times that I just want something simple like a hand on my leg, a rub on the back, but nothing ever changed. I guess I'm afraid of being alone.

They said we should take a week and see where we are then... But I'm starting to be afraid that they'll just settle with me after finding out how difficult life will be for them... They need to declare that they're separated to the government and either go back to America or apply for a visa. It's unlikely they will afford the visa or even get approved as they're an unskilled worker. Moving back home would mean having to move back with their narsasistic parents for a while till they got back on their feet in Florida. A state where their transgender identity is becoming frowned upon.

Anyhoo, I'm sitting in bed typing this and they're sleeping in the living room. Both of our names are on the lease but they contribute zero financially. I don't want to continue supporting them if they're set on seperating so I'll be moving as soon as my friend's flat is available to rent in a couple of months.

I'm full of mixed emotions. I didn't cry when they told me but I cried my eyes out as soon as I was at my neighbours house. It's probably going to end up for the best in the end I guess... It'll just take some time.