Me (29F) dating my (39F) bisexual GF in an open marriage. We have been dating for 5 months now. Outside of her husband and children, I am the only female she is committed to. I also am only committed to her and she’s my only partner.

She was talking all week about preparing for a Christmas Eve Dinner at her house for Sunday. It seems she wasn’t planning on inviting me because I got a last minute invite a few days before on Wednesday when we hung out in person, although I had known she’s having that event at her house all week it wasn’t until Wednesday she causally mentioned if I want to attend it and how she can pick me up Sunday morning. I of course was happy she included me and finally invited me as I am her gf & expected an invite.. and sooner.. but seems she wasn’t planning to include me.

Her husband supports her relationship with me and I have been at her house and past events manyyy times. I used to always get invited to things in the beginning and felt a lot more included our first 2 months. I even met her husbands family, her friends, and many individuals in her personal life. I definitely felt special to be involved and included in some things.

So yesterday a day before her Christmas Eve dinner, my gf basically INDIRECTLY uninvited me from attending it, on the phone. She said a few things and I caught on so I took it upon myself after getting her hint and I said oh if it will be awkward or cause any tension then i won’t attend and I will just see you next week. I acted causal but deep down it really offended me and hurt me. She immediately went along with it & didn’t even apologize in the moment.

Her reasoning was because she is dating me while being a married woman so she doesn’t want 2 of the females to suspect or question who I am or where I came from at the dinner table and was afraid they will find out about her lifestyle of being bi and having a gf and wanted to avoid that. What upsets me is I had already met those 2 women at previous events at my gfs house and I was introduced as her “husbands distant cousin” so I am not exactly a stranger to them. We are very private and we don’t show or do anything inappropriate in front of others. I could have easily played off as her bestie and friend as we always have if she truly wanted me there, right?

I just don’t get or understand why my gf would not want me there. If I’m really a priority to her, shouldn’t she not care what others think? This morning the day of her event, I let her know I was offended and upset by her decision because it absolutely made me feel some type of way. Like who uninvites their girlfriend especially when it’s our first Christmas together even if I don’t celebrate it. She did apologize today saying sorry if I made you feel some type of way but I still feel she thinks she did nothing wrong and didn’t feel a genuine response from her.

She went on saying that she wasn’t planning to even invite me from the beginning because it’s just something small in her house with family and how I don’t celebrate Christmas and that she invited me out of the blue last minute and it wasn’t even confirmed that I was going to attend it since I did tell her I might have something Sunday, but I did tell her that I would love to go and I was planning to go actually, I was so happy when she finally did invite me because it made me feel special and included but then she ruined that feeling and crushed it. And she explained how she didn’t want drama with her sis in law questioning about my relationship to her on the dinner table and she doesn’t want anyone knowing her business and what not. I just feel like this was all bullshit. It doesn’t seem valid enough to me to uninvite your girlfriend. Because we could have easily played it off as we always have.

Is it wrong of me to feel some type of way for her, not including me in this dinner, because she’s married and has her own lifestyle? Or is it double wrong because she invited me then uninvited me which is very messed up I think. I do feel offended and hurt. Although I told her that I understand and did not go off on her. I try my best to be understanding to her lifestyle, but as her committed girlfriend, is it wrong that I feel some type away? I just wish I was included. She took away the special feeling I once felt.