UPDATE: The truth comes out. She wants to be with both of us. Like some kind of polyamorous thing I think.
I don’t think I’m ok with it, but am I stupid for considering trying to meet this guy and be cordial and have a threesome? Or let her go have her fun, knowing she’s going to come home?
Like, wtf am I even thinking?
It’s driving me crazy. I love her. And there’s no stopping her from what she wants to do. It’s saddening to see her change in front of me into something else.
As her husband, I think I should make sure she’s satisfied and happy. Not that I don’t satisfy her, even though I’m small, I know how to get her off.
So maybe I should seriously consider meeting this guy and trying to be his friend or try it out?

If you’ve been following my story, this is the update. She has been open and telling me how she is talking to him again. She had sex with him in September, and she said she wants to again. That we need to separate so she can figure her shit out. She won’t move out, she refuses to wear her ring, and refuses to accept my love for her.

11 years is a very long time, and I can’t just turn my nose to this. I want to fight for her. I want her to love me. I want to keep our family we created together.

I keep getting very high anxiety and panic attacks and they are constant, like some sort of manic episode. I have thoughts of ending myself, however I know that’s not the right thing to do. I just want this to stop.

I don’t know what to do. I don’t have anyone that I can lean on or talk to. She keeps asking me for things, like buy her food or smokes or whatever she wants. Why do I keep letting her walk all over me?

Why can’t I be good enough? What can I do to make this stop?