Before she confessed, (she told me today) she said she reached out to him again on snap, but he wasn’t available-like he ghosted her or deleted her. Said she was going to tell him it’s over-the affair. Good, I think. Then actually, she tells me again she reached out to see if he was still interested in her, feels rejected, and decided she’s done with him. And that’s why she wants me back. Fuck this. I think it’s time for the annulment. It’s right before Christmas too-our wedding anniversary is New Year’s Day. This is the hardest thing I’ve had to weigh in my mind. This shit can’t be made up. I’m 38. Have a child with her. She’s 33. She fucked someone after 11 years together. An entire affair because she had some sexual connection through video/text, but none with me. She fucked him “one time ever!” In September. It’s been confirmed with me since movement 21st. She says she loves me, she wants it to work. Then how come in October she fucking messaged him, and he had her blocked/deleted but she says “I just reached out to tell him it’s over” but then today “to see if he’s still interested”

I asked her today-what if he got through to you, what would you do? She wants to have a threesome!?

He’s going to get hurt if he shows up, so do I say, let’s do it!

Or do I stick my boundaries that she crossed already and tell her no?

I feel like she will do this regardless. Maybe the right choice is to let the threesome happen, say my goodbyes, and then hurt him.

Spend time in jail, divorce, and feel better about it.

I am not a cuck nor do I want that lifestyle either, let alone a poly relationship. 11 years in, you don’t just get to decide this is ok, cause it’s not. Tell me I’m wrong for my feelings. Tell me I’m stupid for doing this. Tell me some real fucking advice because I’m on a lot of meds now because of this whole situation.

UPDATE: she has been messaging him AGAIN. Says she just wants to be his friend and realizes her mistake. I told her it was a mistake to add him back, and that she should move out. 11 years thrown away for her to have some “fun”. Will it be fun when you don’t know how you’re going to get anywhere without a car, where to sleep without a home, and how lonely it’s going to be without your husband and daughter?

Nobody thinks about the consequences of their actions, just have the fun and it’s all good until you get caught.

I’m not ok. I haven’t been ok for a while. I’m in therapy. Next appointment is on Tuesday. Christmas and the new year are going to be hard this year.