My heart really hurts. Not sure what went wrong, things were going well. He seemed happy with me and then poof. I had a whole birthday thing planned for him. Homemade dessert, a few small, personal gifts (it was awesome if I say so myself) and some lingerie... I thought it would be a nice gesture. I was so excited. Never got around to show him.

What's worse is that I'm still holding out, hoping he'll call or text, knowing very well he won't. I know I didn't do anything wrong but I can't help but feel so fucking foolish. I trusted him, believed him when he said he really liked me and how he would always be honest about his feelings. I already have deep trust issues and this cut will take a while to heal.

I just moved to this new city, and really wish I had friends with me. It's so hard to be alone right now. Hence, why I'm staring at this screen, typing out all my feelings and regrets.

Is it so hard to find someone who cares about you or at least has the decency and respect for you to be honest? Am I not worth that? Am I not worth an apology? My self-esteem is at an all-time low. I need a hug and a shoulder to cry on.