TW for mentions of abuse, golden child trauma, etc

I guess intro there’s me (25f) my stepdad (60m), my half-brother (call him F, he’s stepdad’s son, 23m) and our mom (58f).

Growing up, my parents were ab*sive towards both me and F, although directed moreso at me for not being “their” child. I’m talking DCFS at the house on the regular, crying getting on the bus, makeup covering bruises and burns type shit.

Anyway since my brother was their full-child, he was up on this pedestal of always being told he was smart, handsome, praised constantly, handed anything he ever wanted. Despite that, he never took to the normal “boy” things, but I did (and ofc was ridiculed for not being “girly” :) ) I digress.

My stepdad is very much into cars, working with his hands, and has a race car. My mom and brother hated the race car but I loved it, and was going racing with him as a kid, and started racing with him once I got my license. It was the one thing that we had in common, the one thing we shared, the one time I was better than my brother and felt like I was worth something.

Anyway, I moved out and went no contact with my mom and stepdad ~2 years ago. It’s been so good for my mental and emotional health. That being said I’m still in contact with my brother, and I recently found out that he’s been racing with my stepdad. He says he really enjoys it and they’ve been going a lot, but it’s made me so irrationally upset? I know I should be glad he’s getting to bond with his dad, but I feel replaced. Even though I chose to leave and go no-contact, I was confident that this was the one thing I would always have over my brother. And now it’s theirs.

Idk, just wanted to get it out of my system