I’ve noticed that I never had much social media presence, if there’s any to begin with. Somehow your existence is only evaluated on how active you are on social media in Asian societies, and the only social media I frequent is discord, but that doesn’t count is it?

For most of my time I play video games, but since it’s not productive or helpful, it’s not even worth mentioning as a “hobby”, and thus I don’t have a hobby. I seldomly talk to others when they’re surrounded, and it’s always when they’re alone, when I would talk to them, since my voice always gets drowned out when someone else joins the conversation. I had to resort to shouting to even get my voices heard. But due to the sheer frequency of people being surrounded, I just didn’t get any words across, and thus being seen as passive. But that’s because no one would hear what I say and desperately needing to find someone to talk to so they can ignore me.

But sure, I guess you can keep saying that “someone will eventually find you attractive and needed in their lives”, because that’s some big fucking copium you got there for me. I heard this same fucking sentence to death already, and it has never proven true, best I could hopefully get is a monkeys paw kind of attention, where they like me, but it’s in an incredibly manipulative way that makes me feel like a cult member.

Or maybe I should just move overseas since no one even wants me in here.