To preface, unlike most redditors, I grew up in malaysia, to a chinese family. I speak Chinese, I can read it, and nothing's out of the ordinary. Or is it?

The biggest "mistake" (If you can call it that) I did when I was young is watching TV. Or more specifically, watching american cartoons and drama. And from that, I learned a lot about the English language, and started imitating how they speak, thus forming an American accent.

"well this sounds great! Most Chinese people can't even speak a full sentence without fumbling or mispronounce something!" I hear you say, but to my parents, this isn't a great thing.

This occurrence started at april fools (I know, I know), where my dad told me to relay something to him, but due to it being in English, I had to say it in my american accent. This pisses him off to the Nth degree, either because he can't hear it correctly, or something else, I don't know. The result is that he is fuming at how I speak English, and thus going off on a tangent that how America loves to fuck over Asian countries like us, and Chinese people. it was a massive rant. But when I came back, he still goes on, even to the point of attacking me for how I speak, and how I acted. This also made me go nuclear and yelled at him, saying that "Maybe you shouldn't even let us watch TV when we were kids! Do you really think that Chinese as a language will be the new language that everyone speaks?! Or are you drowning in your social media echo chamber?!"

I wouldn't go further since it might cause me to lose my sanity, but the more I looked back, the more I think I feel like an outsider. I speak English weird, I think weird, I talk weird, and everything about me screams American than Chinese. And as it turns out, the myth that asian women liked people who speak English like a Brit or an american is a fat fucking lie. I am not attractive, nor am I Gollum levels of eyesore, but I did witness more mockery for how I speak, and sometimes being criticized for "Not speaking like Uncle Roger" (Uncle Roger is one of those unfunny comedians that uses their own race as a punchline), which ticks me off. Why? Because I hate how most of us speak English. It has this condescending tone and the feeling of "I chose not to speak good english because I think I am better than you, thus I want you to speak Chinese to me". This fucking sucks.

This almost made me felt like I'm a white guy with a Chinese man's skin suit wrapped around me. Would be funny if it's a satirical comedy, but this isn't comedy. Even if I want it to be.

I think I ranted long enough. But I doubt any of you would relate to this, because who actually lives in South East Asia, and is also Chinese, and also speaks english on a daily basis, and also being peer pressured into thinking that your language dictates your entire identity?

Go ahead, tell me. I would love a good response.