I kicked my husband out 7 1/2 months ago, the day after our son's birthday, when I found out he was looking for women online to replace me with. I didn't want to. I wanted to be good enough, but I wasn't. I wanted him to love me, to choose me, but he didn't. I wanted him to fight for me, but he wouldn't.

He has never looked back. I tried so hard to make him happy. I loved him more than anything, in spite of the pain he had caused me. 18 years of friendship, followed by 16 years of marriage...meant nothing to him. I meant nothing to him. And the pain won't go away.

Sorting through all the memories...being reminded of what could have been is tearing me apart. But I am unimportant, disposable. All the plans we made, all we had been through, all my hopes for the future were gone in a split second.

And with every box I open, every piece of furniture I touch, every picture I see, I keep being reminded that the only man I have ever loved has completely forgotten I ever existed. I don't matter. I am so dismissable that he doesn't care about any of it.

I don't know how to do this alone. I'm so empty.