I am tired. Tired of fighting my mother for the last 31 years. She has put other before me ever since I was young, and I have memories from as young as 3 of her putting others before me. I’m the only girl of 3 and I feel like she’s gone hard against me because she’s jealous of me. She was jealous of the relationship I had with my father, what type of sick woman is upset her husband has a good relationship with their kid?! And jealous of the way her family treats me. It’s crazy how when you don’t treat people like shit or with an ulterior motive, they can sense it and act accordingly. She has done so many things, that I don’t even remember them all or have tried forgetting so I don’t get mad. My dad died when I was 16, leaving me alone to fight for myself, otherwise she’d just pound me into the person she wanted me to be so she could take advantage of me in anyway she found possible. I left home at 18 and never looked back. I visit her because of guilt but I still kept fighting for boundaries and made sure I wasn’t turning out like her. I moved out of state and that was the best thing to happen to my mental health. I married an amazing man and we’ve made a nice life for ourselves, she absolutely hates it because it’s more than she’s ever had. I now have a one year old boy, and although sometimes I lose my patience with him, I could never do to him what she did to me. She let me down so hard when I gave birth, managed to make it about herself even though I almost died. That’s when I knew I was done. She supposedly tried with my son and I allow her to come visit just so he knows her, but he must sense his mama being stressed or something because he doesn’t care for her either. I’ve recently been reading up on narcissistic parents and she fits the bill. It all makes so much sense now. I am tired of fighting for myself, exhausted from taking care of my kid and still having to fucking defend myself and now protect my son. I hate my mother. I hate the woman she is and that I got stuck with her instead of my dad.